"to thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful"

I just returned from confession. It is always a little awkward to stand in line outside the confessional with others waiting for my turn. For several years I avoided going to confession in this manner. As a deacon, I know many priests and would just call, make an appointment, and go on the appointed day. I do not believe there is anything wrong with this in and of itself. However, I caught myself one time telling somebody that this was how I rolled when it comes to confessing my sins. In my mind I caught myself thinking that as a deacon it is not fitting for me to show up Saturday afternoon, wait in line with everyone, and go to confession when my turn came. Catching myself, I changed my practice.

The Coronation of the Virgin, by Carracci ca. 1595-1600

This afternoon, as I waited in line with 6 or 7 other people, I was struck by how close I felt to them, only two of whom I knew, or had met before. Of course, waiting in line for confession is not a social event, there is no talking, just a lot of silent praying. Above the confessional on the east side of The Cathedral of the Madeleine is a beautiful stained glass window of the Blessed Virgin being crowned Queen of Heaven. I found myself looking into her face and praying Memorares for specific people and intentions as I waited, all the time cognizant of being in the company of my fellow believers who are not afraid to acknowledge their need and to recognize that Christ meets their need, makes up for their inability, that He is the One who overcomes their weakness, and changes their hearts through His mercy and love, they look to Him to show them that the pursuit of selfish desires will never bring satisfaction and to acknowledge those times they let themselves be deceived. I could never come close to describing what it means to me to belong to such a hallowed company.